20 truths about Orochimaru
by iluvfanfics1997
Summary: The truth about our least favorite Sannin and why they couldn't give him up


20 truths about Orochimaru.

Inspired by all the Orochimaru fics out there and this line in the Zebra's stripes poem:  
Are you good with bad habits?  
Or are you bad with good habits?

Disclaimer: The Naruto Characters don't belong to me at all

1. When Jiraiya first found out he was on stick up his ass Orochimaru and flat chested Tsunade's team, he wanted to go back in time and strangle his past self for being dead last.

When Tsunade found out she was on Orochimaru and Perverted Jaraiya's team, she froze, later that day, she and her friends acted as if someone had sentenced her to death. In a way she had been. She knew her team was destined to fail.

When Orochimaru found out, he knew no good would come from it. Jiraiya was too loud and rambunctious to be a ninja and Tsunade was just spoilt, she probably wouldn't be able to throw a decent punch without complaining about how much it hurt. The two of them would probably die within a year.

They all proved each other wrong. Tsunade _especially_ proved them both wrong

2. Contrary to the popular belief, Jiraiya was not the first person on their team to sneak a peek on Tsunade. It was in fact Orochimaru.

In a team when guys out number the girls 3 to 1, someone's going to walk in on the other. Especially when travelling. They always used 2 rooms. Sarutobi and Jiraiya would stay in one room, Tsunade and Orochimaru in the other.

Tsunade flat-out refused to room with Jiraiya because he would cope a feel or sneak a peek.

Jiraiya and Orochimaru could not room together without either Jiraiya goading Orochimaru into a fight or worse Jiraiya influencing Orochimaru into pulling pranks. With Jiraiya's mischievous nature and Orochimaru's tactician skills, they were unstoppable.

When Tsunade and Sarutobi were alone, Tsunade always bullied him into something ridiculous. Ranging from buying her that _adorable _Kunai set to Orochimaru and Jiraiya are _soooo mean _to her… Resulting in Tsunade getting something expensive and new, while Orochimaru and Jiraiya have to suffer some ridiculous punishment.

Tsunade was changing and didn't lock the door and Orochimaru needed to use the toilet. If Orochimaru had averted his eyes and ducked out as he apologized, she would have forgiven him and brushed it off. He however did the opposite, he openly looked at her before dropping a comment about how flat her chest was.

He was in hospital for a month after that.

However, Jiraiya visited every other day and they bonded over how utterly _psycho _their team-mate was.

3. Once Orochimaru and Jiraiya became hesitant friends, they further bonded by pranking everyone in the village. They even pranked the Hyugas.

Of course the Hokage had to sort through all the paper work. The annoying part was that there was no proof that it was Orochimaru and Jiraiya's fault. So they specifically asked Tsunade to stop them.

She didn't.

She joined them.

She used everything she had to her advantage. Her charisma, her looks. She was the perfect distraction. When they finally got caught by a special opps anbu team, they got off with a slap on the wrist because Tsunade was _so so sorry_ while blinking her big amber eyes.

After that she had gained a lot of respect from Orochimaru and Jiraiya. They even became friends.

They also nick named her Princess.

4. Contrary to what many believe, Orochimaru was not only the first to have a girlfriend, but he was also the last to know about it.

Orochimaru had spent a lot of time with this girl Megumi, a nice genin from their year that Tsunade loathed.

Tsunade found out when Megumi's friend told her. The first thing Tsunade did was go to Jiraiya and started ranting to him about Megumi and how much she hated her, how Orochimaru could do better and how dare he not tell them first.

For the next two weeks, Tsunade would drop hints about Megumi and Orochimaru would ignore them. Finally the medic exploded with rage and confronted him about her.

He had no idea what she was talking about.

Even after she dragged Megumi to their training ground, Orochimaru still denied it. After peering at the hysterical girl, then he remembered her.

'I thought nodding my head and agreeing to everything you said made it clear I didn't want to interact with you.'

Jiraiya was laughing his butt off and Tsunade never let him live it down.

5. When Jiraiya's parents were murdered, Orochimaru didn't know what to say. He was more scared than he had been when his parents died.

It was then did he realise that Jiraiya was his moral compass. Orochimaru had nothing. He could kill a family of three and their dog and not care at all. Slaughter countless people on whim because he could without a second thought.

Tsunade's moral compass was questionable. He wasn't sure where Jiraiya and he stood with her but he knew the village came first. But her brother came before the village. There was little she wouldn't do for the village but there was nothing she wouldn't do for her brother. Even then, the guilt might keep her up or haunt her, depending on the task.

Jiraiya's was infallible. He wanted peace, which was unusual for a shinobi, and he was determined to achieve it. He was loyal to Konoha but flat-out refused any assassination missions. It was espionage all the way with him. So Orochimaru used him as a gauge of if he was going too far. Mission to steal forbidden scrolls from the Mist? Okay. Mission to infiltrate and slaughter Iwagakure nin? Too far.

But now that his parents were gone, would his dreams for peace be gone too?

So he awkwardly walks over to where Tsunade is desperately trying to cheer him up and offers to let him stay in the spare room in his apartment.

He says no.

Later that evening, Jiraiya is at his doorstep with a few bags of his belongings. Orochimaru silently let him in.

Jiraiya never moved out.

6. Like many teams, once they become Chunin, they begin to fall apart. It was unintentional but it happened.

How could they stay together with Tsunade working at the hospital, Jiraiya doing 'research' and Orochimaru training to be Jonin?

They probably would have if the latest mission Jiraiya and Orochimaru took didn't go wrong. A simple scouting mission turned into a suicide one.

It took Orochimaru taking a blow to the chest meant for Jiraiya for him to realise how much Orochimaru meant to him.

It took throwing himself in the way of a katana meant for Jiraiya for Orochimaru to realise how much Jiraiya meant to him.

It took seeing them both in hospital after the mission for Tsunade to realise how much Jiraiya and Orochimaru meant to her.

It took Tsunade screaming at him for Orochimaru to realise how much Tsunade meant to him.

It took waking up to Tsunade screaming at Orochimaru for Jiraiya to realise how much she meant to him.

She screamed at both of them for three hours straight after they both woke up before she burst into tears. Excluding the following 'What would I do without you?', 'What were you thinking?', 'How could you do this to me?' and the 'What if you died? Where would I be?'.

Orochimaru and Jiraiya didn't mind. They had long realised that the longer she yelled at you, the more she loved you. It was the longest she had ever yelled at anyone.

They always feel a mixture of pride and smugness when they think about it.

7. Tsunade was not only known for her legendary medic skills, but for a period of time, she was renowned among the council for her temper. She stormed into a council meeting, hair flaring out behind her, amber eyes had a furious glow within them.

'Excuse me? May I have a second of your precious time?' she asked nicely. No one said anything and she took it as a yes. She looked around, once she was happy that she had their full attention, she exploded.

'I don't care that they were the only team available!' she shrieked at the Hokage.

'No, _you _don't understand!' she snarled at the head of the Hyuga clan.

'You dare tell me that you sent _my teammates _on a _suicide mission_!' She roared at the head of the Uchiha clan who looked so scared he looked like he had pissed himself.

Once she was done, the Hokage was so pale he looked like he was dead. The Hyuga head was muttering about demons, repent and how death was all around them. The Nara head was scared of his own shadow. The Yamanaka and Akimichi heads flat-out refused to leave their homes for weeks. The Inuzuka clan head didn't go anywhere without his dog. The Aburame clan head refused to step foot in the hospital ever again. The Uchiha clan head needed to sleep with a nightlight on and created a more powerful Mangekyo sharigan realm.

All in all, she got the result she wanted. They were never sent on solo missions again.

8. Orochimaru was the cause for the _Icha Icha _series.

They were hospitalised for six months. During those six months, Jiraiya got it in his head that he could write a book to kill time.

When Tsunade heard his ridiculous idea, she burst out laughing. 'What are you gonna write about? Us? Call it 'The tales of the Idiot and the Prodigy Idiot' make them solve math. Something you can't do.' She snapped.

'No Tsunade. No matter what he writes about it'll be erotica. It'll probably be called 'Flirt and make out with math' or something equally ridiculous.' Orochimaru exasperatedly corrected. Jiraiya however, stopped talking and began thinking. A bad combination with him.

A month after they were released from hospital, the first ever _Icha Icha: Paradise _was published. It was an instant hit.

Orochimaru still curses himself to this day.

9. If you ask Jiraiya when his proudest moment was, he'd probably answer one of the following:

When _Icha Icha _was first published.

When Minato became hokage

When I got my first summon

When Naruto mastered the Rasengan.

If you asked Tsunade when her proudest moment was, she'd probably answer one of the following:

When I saved the life of a man that everyone said would die.

When Shizune mastered her first healing technique.

When Sakura mastered her first healing technique.

When I scared the council after my teammates landed themselves in hospital.

If you asked Orochimaru when his proudest moment was, he'd probably answer one of the following:

When I mastered my first Kinjutsu.

When Anko became Chunin.

When I killed Sarutobi.

When I created the reincarnation jutsu.

But really, their proudest moment was when they fought Hanzō, who gave them the title of Konoha's "Three Legendary Shinobi" and they became the sannin.

10. When Orochimaru decided to take a genin squad during the war, he was horrified to see that he was going to be taking Nawaki as a student.

If anything happened to Nawaki, Tsunade would kill him.

Nawaki was talented, maybe he'd even become Hokage.

But those dreams ended when he was brutally blown up. For the first time, he felt a pang in his gut as he realised how badly he let Tsunade down. He had never felt so guilty in his life. Tsunade however, forgave him, and instead she used his death to push for medic nin to be on each squad.

11. Ultimately it was Nawaki's death that made him consider Kinjutsu to revive him. Part of Tsunade died the day he died. There was nothing he could do to help her.

He began to research scrolls to find the right jutsu.

There was no price he wouldn't pay to see one of his precious people smile again.

12. During the second war, when Tsunade introduced Dan to them, Jiraiya and Orochimaru shared a discreet look. They both hated him.

They never actually thought about what would happen once they started dating and got married. Now that they had to, they didn't like it at all. They never had to fight for Tsunade's attention before but now that they did, they hated it.

They never told her they did.

During the next few months, they pranked him relentlessly and sparred with him until Tsunade stepped in and scolded all three of them. Dan would sheepishly scratch the back of his head and apologise before walking over to her and wrapping her in his arms and kiss her. She'd blush and look away with a small smile on her face, forcing Jiraiya and Orochimaru to tease her.

Secretly they were jealous they had to share her with someone else. But they were glad that Tsunade berated him for calling her princess. They'd sooner cut their tongues out and eat shit before they'd admit that they were both relieved that she'd have someone other than them to protect her and be there for her if one of them died.

They hated him even more once he died.

But they'd never tell Tsunade that.

13. When Tsunade came to him at the dead of night, he was confused at first. This was out of character.

When she tearfully explained that she was pregnant with Dan's child, his eyes widened a little in shock.

He stared at her as if she had gone insane when she asked him to help her abort the child. Finally when she said she couldn't raise something that reminded her so much of what she lost did something inside of him snap.

He agreed. But what she didn't know was that he placed the fetus in another women who was to be the child's surrogate mother.

Ironically, Tsunade's child, Kabuto, would later be one of his most trusted right hand man.

14. Jiraiya and Orochimaru both had ways to deal with Tsunade's change. Jiraiya left to train some orphans from Amegakure.

Orochimaru began to experiment with immortality.

Although Nawaki's death started the motions, it was Dan's death that made him obsessed with immortality and Kinjutsu.

He began human experimentation.

15. Orochimaru joined Tsunade on one of the many nights she decided to get drunk to forget _them_. It was then did she tell him her new fear of blood, how desperately she wanted to leave. She could tell how displeased he was but she was too drunk to care.

'Then why don't you go?' He asked her.

'…I don't know.' She answered softly

The next day she and Shizune were gone

Sometimes he wonders what would have happened if he made the women he viewed as a sister stay.

16. Orochimaru was the next to leave.

17. Orochimaru wondered around seeking power but most of all looking for _him_. If his guess was right, he would be as good as his mother by now. It took a while but finally he found _him_.

He picked up the little boy and carried him off.

If Kabuto was anything like his mother Tsunade, he'd be an important asset.

18. As Kabuto gets older, he wonders if he should have told him the truth about his heritage. But Orochimaru doesn't. Because he can't bear to have the boy he has begun to see as a son leave him for his true parents.

So he raises him and teaches him and hopes it's enough.

19. After the Kyuubi attack on Konoha, Orochimaru began to search for Jiraiya. And he knew exactly where to look.

He found him drinking until he was piss drunk. Somehow, without knowing it, he ended up joining Jiraiya. Drinking like there was no tomorrow.

'Raiya, you should go to him. Naruto.' Orochimaru slurred to Jiraiya.

'Don't be stupid Oro. I'm the last thing that kid needs. He has the village.' Jiraiya snapped back. Orochimaru could put it in context. It was Tsunade and Kabuto all over again.

'The village won't do shit for him.' Orochimaru spat out harshly. He had to, for the boy's sake.

'They will be there for him.' Jiraiya hissed angrily. Orochimaru chose not to point out the obvious. The village would ostracize him, suddenly a brilliant yet stupid idea came to him.

'Let me have him. The kid.' Orochimaru suddenly said. Jiraiya's reaction was instantaneous.

'Are you fucking crazy? No.' Jiraiya all but yelled. Maybe the goofball wasn't that bad a godparent.

Orochimaru had many spies in the hidden leaf. He was proud of the man he viewed as a brother for at least making sure the kid was taken care of and protected by people Jiraiya trusted.

But he couldn't help but wish that Jiraiya gave the boy to him. He would have raised Naruto and Kabuto like they were brothers.

20. Tsunade drank herself to oblivion when she found out Orochimaru was dead. Because no matter how wrong it was, she loved him for the person he was and hated the person he had become. Fighting him was easy because they were all evenly matched. She knew no one would die. It was like fighting with family. They would never be able to kill the other.

Jiraiya joined her. To lose the person who was like a brother to him was cruel. When he left, he could pretend that there was a chance he could bring him back. Even though he knew he couldn't. It was almost worse than losing his parents. Try as he might, no matter how much he tried to remind himself that he was evil, he could only remember the good times they had together. The last time he lost someone precious to him, he had Orochimaru, but now he was gone. So he joined Tsunade to pretend.

When Orochimaru died he had no regrets.

He had a family. Sure they were pretty mad at him now but he had all the afterlife to fix things with them, if his brother didn't keep up his 'research' and sister didn't spend too much time with Dan. He had a son, Kabuto, depending on how you look at it, and a nephew, Naruto, depending on how you look at it.

He was legendary. Created dozens of jutsu. Created even more forbidden techniques. Trained the last Uchiha, the ungrateful brat. To him dying and living were interchangeable.

Because let's face it. He knew he wouldn't stay dead long.


End file.
